The Retro-Retro Martini
The Classic Remains Chairman of the Board

The martini got too big. It got too popular. Like a great band that you love suddenly achieving superstardom and consequently catering to the masses and leaving you — the connoisseur — out in the cold, the Martini went mainstream.   
    Apple-tinis, Peach-tinis, Pear-tinis, Perch-tinis, Trout-tinis, Tennis-shoe-tinis.
Yeah, fine, but here’s a news flash — those are ‘tinis, figuratively tiny in comparison to the sophisticated, brawny, brain-bender that was once a staple of business lunches, literary soirees and hip, suburban mixers.
    Now, after having sold itself out to every willing fruit at the corner market, the true Martini is returning. Call it retro-retro — a comeback not from oblivion but from Britney Spears-like excess. But the Martini’s reinstatement under the spotlight isn’t quite as poorly executed as hers was.
    “The classic Martini is coming back again,” says John Polizzi, partner and vice president of operations for Martini Park. “Two years ago, coming up with new cool Martinis was the thing. Not anymore.” Polizzi should know. Martini Park is a venue dedicated to the Martini.
Having started outside Dallas, in Plano, Texas, Martini Park has opened in Chicago and is headed to San Francisco, Scottsdale, Denver and Irvine, Calif. It’s an “adult playground” that serves bar bites like homemade donuts, cotton candy and buffalo chicken lollipops.
    “We do all the fancy Martinis,” Polizzi says. “We have 35 different types, all made with fresh ingredients and juices. We use apples from New Zealand that are a little larger than a cherry for our Apple-tini. But 2007 is the 100th anniversary of the Martini, and people are thinking old-school.”
Polizzi believes that a Martini is a state of mind.
    “It’s a symbol of achievement,” he explains.
    “A Martini is for when you feel good about yourself. It says you’ve arrived. It’s about status.”
    When it comes to status, the Martini always stood tall in popular culture. It set a standard. People who drank Martinis were glamorous and to be taken seriously.
Imagine James Bond ordering a cosmopolitan. Exactly. You can’t. Because he wouldn’t. Because he would beat himself to death if he did. If James Bond ordered an Apple-tini, his Austin Martin sports car would have to be replaced by a Volkswagen Cabriolet.
    If Frank Sinatra came back from the grave and ordered a flavor-tini of some kind, he’d transmogrify into a preening, pre-pubsecent Justin Timberlake on the spot.
“It’s about being grown-up and finally having grown-up success,” Polizzi says.

Garnishing
    “Now the thing that we get creative with is the garnish,” Polizzi says. “We do a variety of stuffed olives — gorgonzola, caviar, lobster. We do fried jalapeños. You take a good, dry Martini and pair it up with fried jalapenos and it’s delicious. But even here, we’re keeping the purist in mind.” The garnishes are served in a side dish, so the Martini remains unsullied.
    The wave of the future is carrying a tide of Martini lovers who act their age and actually like the taste of vodka, gin and vermouth. The Martini is back, and it makes neither concessions nor apologies.                                                          NCB